Men, Can You Relate? Is Your Growth Game Strong? Realise This For Your Self. Be Vulnerable, Heart Open, Surrender To Fierce Self Compassion. And Be Love. Potent, Penetrating, Simple, On Point. Repeat.

Many men are wired to seek freedom.
Many think we’ll find it in earning more money or accumulating status.
We think we'll find it in relationships or dating conquests.
We think we'll find it in winning and competing and taking other's out, in sport or business or life, hard.

We look for freedom from societal rules, from commitment to "anyone".
Many Men avoid structure, because we see it as a prison.
But we are completely limited if that remains our definition of healthy masculinity. 
Men remain closed off to their limitless potential and remain misdirected even though they "think" they are "winning" by doing more. Doing more gambling or doing more winning or doing more deals or doing more drugs or doing more unhealthy coping choices. Like abandoning the real self. Ignoring the ever present inner self. 

Re parenting that little lost boy who was spoilt rotten or indulged by a "yes" parent or enmeshed and engulfed by them without boundaries. Or an emotionally unavailable parent, maybe with physical absence or early death or incarceration or illness or strict obedience or a disconnected, disembodied addictive pattern. 

These layers of conditioning are often innocently passed onto a child's psyche and are endless. Our attuned and more subtle men's group work now is to unravel and reveal what those unique childhood inherited patterns may be. Meet whatever comes up with curiosity, compassion and witness each other in a shared masculine fierce tender vulnerability. Our men's group focus is not to heal or fix deeper mental health issues per se, but simply to hold and witness each other in a co created and yet fully accountable, safe space. It is not a space to come and dump and moan and whinge and whine. That may be what part of The Bigger Problem many men actually have is, relationships with partners and relating with mates that enable that irresponsible and unaccountable BS to continue. We aim to call you out. With fierce love and draw a line in the sand take no more shit attitudes. 

Then there may also be malicious and criminal sexual, psychological or emotional abuse inflicted by parents, teachers, clergy, carers, extended family or significant adults. 

These are wounds and trauma and conditioning that many men may still be carrying the effects of many years after the initial event. These are wounds that professional mental health care workers can assist with and are not the primary focus of our current men's group. If one on one therapy is needed, men, please seek it out without hesitation. Let's break the stigma and remove any guilt or shame about asking for help. Therapists over many years became my loudest cheer leaders and I love them dearly. Now. 

After I didn't love them at all. Because they gently revealed my patterns, held a clear mirror up so I could see my True Self and eventually called me out on my shit. I totally own and forgive and realise all of my choices were the only ones available to me at that point in time. Now our men's group is paying that healing forward as the 10 regular attendees have all experienced a similar journey towards living a more integrated life of conscious choice.

The endless pursuit of external objects, external validation, and endless relationships will never give us a lasting sense of freedom
Only a teenager thinks freedom is a lack of structure; a lack of rules.
But that’s not freedom, that’s anarchy.
A young man sees freedom in the single life.
He runs around projecting and spilling and seeking in the externalised world.
Which is all fine and much needed for a while.
No commitments, no responsibility. No fucking clue to be honest. And that's ok.

But as he matures, as he listens and observes and slows down to re ground, he learns and starts to understands his own conditioning, his own patterns of behaviour, his own choices that have lead him to where he is currently at. He may then start to realise the value of structure, commitment and discipline.
I’ve heard from so many men recently who are turning that re centring corner in their lives.

They have bought all the toys, built successful careers and businesses, fucked all the women, drank all the beer, won all the games and then realised their life is a vacuous piece of steaming dog shit.
Possibly then lost all of this material validation or run away from families or abandoned children or checked out with mind and body numbing addictions, like even more self inflicted stress (if I just run faster, I can outrun this, the classic workaholic) or drugs (illicit or legal and even the seemingly innocuous daily sips pf "Happy Hour" which turns into Dependent Bar Fly Habituation) and then gambling with more cycles of what got them there in The First Place. Denial of ingrained conditioning and where ever that story originated.

This externalised expectation and limited perspective of masculinity, to Be Seen To Be Validated by the size of their bank account, their victorious alpha male score sheet or their wanton waving cock. These are the signs of a severe separation from Self when boys are conditioned from birth by "influencers" who may not be healthy male role models at all. These influencers may be their own fathers or other male family members, or partners of mothers or preachers or famous celebrities or sports heroes or porn stars or money making successful executives or any other "male" who has access to the developing mind of a child through media, school, religion, family of origin or increasingly now the internet. Some boys have no significantly influential healthy male presence in their life, so naturally turn to whatever and wherever they feel a sense of belonging. Hello gangs and sports teams and hotels and gyms and brothels and even ultra spiritual men's groups that peddle limiting beliefs and moralistic dogma. Hello Cults of Personality and even church youth groups. Let The Seeker Beware but with easily impressionable minds who have an over whelming desire to belong and be accepted, this healthy male role model choice is becoming increasing challenging. Even for burned out executives and high functioning more mature men who find themselves depressed, anxious, medicated, by own choice or big pharma doctors.

Welcome to ground zero. 

The Next Starting Point of Now.

Men whom have lived that externally habituated and unconscious unhealthy path are now turning towards a bigger purpose, a deeper relationship with self. 

But some are scared they’ll lose their freedom in this surrender to a higher source which resides within them. 

Men are scared to face the real self as then there is no where left to run and no one left to blame.
Men (and women) are being called to face their True Self. 

We all are.

For those who have been used to habitual projecting, external complaining, blaming and seeking happiness in excessive materialistic consumption, this externalised busyness and not slowing down within to heal childhood wounds. 

Any conditioning (and we all have it) is reversed (healed) by taking responsibility for patterns and choices of behaviour learned in childhood.
Most men are scared to embark on this inner journey as they have seen "externally successful" men, societal role models of winners, become tender and sacred and soften; seemingly masters of their inner commitment. To Them Self. And a higher purpose, to serve.

If men in actual prison can find inner freedom, any man can.
I’ve known men who sat with confinement in Long Bay Gaol for years, and yet found true freedom. Sure, they were necessarily incarcerated to pay dues back to society for crimes they had committed, but they then chose to reflect, do the inner work and on release choose a different path forward. Read Victor Frankl's seminal book "Man's Search For Meaning" for more insight on this topic of enforced imprisonment and self realisation.

How does this realisation happen?
Short answer: Inner-work. Radical responsibility. Fierce self compassion. 

Simply realised they are their own masters and no one is coming to save them. Not mummy, not daddy, not a kind hearted partner or any wild woman, 

If you can take all that energy you’ve been directing outwards - looking for freedom externally - and focus it inwards, searching, digging, and uncovering your own barriers, your own conditioning, you can be free despite any external circumstances you may currently be experiencing.
This is part of what we do in Our Men’s Work.
Men’s work is inner-work specifically created for men.

It helps men reclaim their true masculine direction, their innate power, and createinner freedom. A man who won’t embrace his next phase of evolution, to grow deeper, is in a special kind of self inflicted prison. 

Until inner space is created, realised, released, the next cycle of forward progress towards a grounded whole embodiment is impossible. Let go to grow. 

And we’ve all been there. To varying and different degrees. 

Men need each other to move through to the other side.

We need responsible men to heal wounded men, not wounded substitute surrogates or kind females or the milk bottle or the job or the gold bling medal or daily happy hour or swallow a magical pill or any other small bullshit story. Welcome to The Reality of The Self. Naked, exposed, raw and nowhere left to run. No wonder men are scared. Of The True Self. Because they have never been shown how we all hide from that simple conditioned space within. That's where the fear lives, fear ferments and fear bubbles (or explodes) out unconsciously as anger, violence and rage. Mostly at those who are closest to them. Their self, family, partners and children. Just Stop That Shit Men. Own It, all of it. And Do The Inner Self Realised Work. Simple, not easy. Until It Is. Practice until It Is. 

"Create It 'till You Make It", NOT "Fake it 'till you make it". 

Fake is Fucked. Create is Cool. 

So this is a call for men to move forward.

Join The Work. 

Do The Work. 

Live The Work. 

Be The Work. 

It is all inside and freely available to you right now. 

If and whenever you choose. 

Remain Potent, be kind, be penetrating, be simple, remain on point, be your own unwavering committed warrior spirit. 

And We will love the fuck out of you. Right now. 

And hold you accountable. Right now. 

At. Exactly. The. Same. Time. 

Concurrency with tenderness, good grace and humour, aligned, humble and kind. 

We will call your shit out. We are Love. 

And once you realise this for your Self, that this here magical love shit never goes away, it just grows and spreads like a wild fire IF you pay it forward. 

Relating with misaligned energy leaves us when it us ready, so let those mofo shrivelled up dead dry leaves drop. Thank and Leave those past seasons behind, all those stray roots and empty vessels and drunken addictive bullshit people. 

True love never dies. 

And therein lies The Difference. 

We are Love. 
The Integrated Man Is Love Personified.

The True Initiation Into Owning Each Man’s Core Valued. 

Be That Man. 

For Your Self.